how to have a flat stomach
- remove all of your organs
Step 2. Moisturize.
i also had an imaginary friend luke who i did not actually believe in and who was literally a way for me to get extra food
“mom, luke wants mac and cheese too”
a plate was put out for luke as well
“luke’s not hungry i guess i have to eat it”
i thought i was the cleverest little shit
“So what have you been up to in the holidays?”
IM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THIS IS THE EXACT POSITION IM IN AND IM MAKING THE EXACT SAME FACE
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
I think growing up is realizing that the things you actually want for your birthday, no one can give them to you but yourself.
- The name of the Doctor
- What happened in Budapest
- How Sherlock survived
- Where the fuck the Hannibal fandom came from
what is homestuck
How does Sam always have wifi
Why hasn’t someone rescued Adam from the pit already
When will Arthur return?
Ring around the rosie,
Wings are burning slowly,
[distant helicopter noises] [sky dives into ur house] did someone mention… fall out boy
“i bet you cant name two structures that can hold water!” “well, dam”